patti tucker, Author at Patti Tucker

How Bad Do You Want It?

Thursday, June 15, 2017 By patti tucker 2 Comments

A few days ago I thought back to when I was pregnant. It was awful timing.

I was newly married, poor as hell and living in a furnished apartment. As in, they owned the furniture, not me.

Remembering those days, putting myself back in that tiny apartment, with no savings or furniture to my name, makes my stomach squinch.

Poor, tiny, baby – coming into this world to a momma that had almost nothing.

Almost.

What I did have, my treasured metaphorical gold coins, was strength to see beyond my circumstances, grit to shear the path forward, and a unworldly belief in myself and the future I envisioned.

I wish I could tell you that gutting it out to the spot I now occupy was as playful as this graphic – but anyone who has ever moved rocks, knows it ain’t so.

How bad did I want it? So bad, that I worked my tail off for the future I envisioned for my family.

Nothing was going to stop me. Nothing could withstand my resolve.

How about you?

How bad do you want it?

Don Henley’s How Bad Do You Want It? has often asked the hard question.

You’re leavin’ tongue marks on the carpet,
And I know what you’re lookin’ at.
You would walk on your lips through busted glass
If you could get next to that.

~~~~

So tell me,
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you want it?
How bad do you want it?

Not bad enough

~~~~

If you haven’t achieved what you think it is you want, you must ask yourself: How bad do you want it?

The answer might be: not bad enough.

Patti’s Simple How-Bad-Do-You-Want-It Formula

1) If you want something bad enough – You. Will. Begin.

2) Reasons not to start? You don’t want it bad enough.

Easy.

Next time you’re stuck. Next time you’re wondering why the hell you’re not moving forward, ask yourself: how bad do you want it?

I find when I push off tasks for another day or avoid things I think I want, I simply don’t want it bad enough.

And that’s okay.

Find the stuff that you do want bad enough.

Crush the ever-lovin’ hell outta that stuff.

When you find something you want bad enough, getting from A-Z may not be easy, but it will be a helluva lot more fun than slogging through the stuff you don’t want.

How bad do you want it, baby?

Keep asking. Keep walking on your lips through busted glass, just to get next to that.

That’s where you’ll find your treasured metaphorical gold coins.*

*ginormous pink balloon optional.

Are You Hiding Your Authentic Self?

Thursday, June 8, 2017 By patti tucker 1 Comment

How many times have you questioned the value of being exactly who you are, in the exact measure that you are, because you were afraid of rejection?

It feels like crap, doesn’t it?

I want to tell you that I know how you feel because I’ve stood in that awful squinch-producing spot, too. That space where you try to make whatever you feel people will judge – smaller.

You like them, and you want them to like you – so, you squash the best of you. You tell yourself that everyone else fits in (squashers – the lot of them!) and you want that too.

I’m here to tell you to STOP IT!

Shine your authentic light. BLIND US with your you-ness! Embrace the you that no one else can be.

I insist.

Go ahead, roll your eye-balls until your sockets scream for mercy, so many will, but consider my wisdom before you hurt yourself, friend.

There is NOT one person in the ENTIRE world who is you.

~STOP~

Did you stop for one hot minute?

~THINK~

If you’re thinking, you’re smiling. Are you smiling?

~STUNNED SPEECHLESS~

There it is.

Did you know there are currently over 7.5 BILLION people in this world, as of this writing?

Even if you are an identical twin, there are psychological and emotional differences. No one is completely like another.

How you feel about and react to a cute cat video, how you feel about and react to being served liver and onions for dinner, how you feel about and react to a compliment from a stranger – all authentically you.

You’re a fantastical weirdo with unique talent and hard-earned wisdom to share.

There should be no hiding, ever. Never ever.

If you are playing hide and seek with your authentic self, be brave.

The world needs you. In whatever you choose to do.

If you refuse, how will you grow into the you that only you can be?

If you must, take small steps forward.

~ Share your opinion without being asked for it.

~ Wear those colorful pants you love, but don’t think anyone else will.

~ Pick the restaurant or the movie.

Doesn’t matter how you step forward, only that you do.

Each time you dare to show up, ask yourself: How does it feel?

Spoiler Alert: It feels great! Empowering! Exhilarating! And sometimes like you have to puke…but it passes!

Then do it again. And again. And again, until one day, you are a light so bright that we know it’s you and only you.

Building a business of word towers and coaching? (Hey! That’s me!) Be yourself.

Building a business of fried food and sweat pants? (BRILLIANT!) Be yourself.

Building a business of monster trucks and baby prams? (Both need kickass tires!) Be yourself.

Enough of hiding in the shadows. Enough of thinking no one could possibly like the ALL of you. Enough of refusing to believe that only you could possibly get you.

Enough!

When you build anything, you are the key ingredient, the secret sauce that separates you from EVERYONE else in this world (7.5 billion and growing).

Why wouldn’t you utilize your exclusive super power to GROW?

WHHHYYY?!

The best things happen when you are authentic.

Caveat: Not everyone will like you, whether you’re being you or not. So, why put precious energy into being something, being someone, you were never meant to be?

Plus, it’s hard work pretending to be someone you’re not, while hiding the light you were born to shine.

Don’t be scared (but if you are, let’s talk about it).

To quote my beloved Dr. Seuss:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because in the end those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

Dr. Seuss knows what’s what.

In case you’d rather listen to me yammer about being your authentic self. Someone get the lights!

It’s time – TODAY! – to show up – just as you are – in all your glorious glory.

Go on now – NO MORE HIDING – go shine your authentic light and dazzle the hell outta the world.

Growing a Business Makes One Hungry. Have a Sandwich.

Friday, June 2, 2017 By patti tucker Leave a Comment

Creating, growing and sustaining a business is hard.

Some decisions include not-so-palatable compromises that you decide between, then accept.

Much of what you do, where you go, and the jobs you take, have unavoidable complications. You take the good with the bad when making decisions to move forward.

There’s a saying about making a tough call between two not so great choices: You gotta decide which shit sandwich you’re willing to eat.

Mmmm, turdalicious!

If you follow my facebook page, you’ll remember this:

I hear where I’m supposed to go, to do what I want to achieve, but, as usual, I have my own ideas about what will work for me, as I sift through the help of others.

The thing is (there is always a thing, right?) that there is a risk no matter what road I take, theirs or mine. The trick is to decide what failure I can live with: theirs or mine?

Mine. Always, mine.

I was talking about how I’d proceed in my business, but it could have been about any decision in my life.

Some shit sandwiches I’ve been unwilling to eat.

Some days, I trash-talk the arrogance of my way or no way – JUST EAT THE SANDWICH!

Other days, I hold on to the image, the vision, of where I want to go and how I want to get there.

I know you get that; I know you live that.

It’s the difference between walking a paved road or taking the rocky cliffs: one path is relatively safe – the other has you landing in a bloody heap at the bottom, forcing you to start over.

Rocky cliffs are part of business, right?

If you fail, it’s going to be on your terms – while stuffing down the shit sandwich you’re willing to eat.

My dream, my vision – the same one that offers a limited menu some days – includes helping you get past your unappetizing grub. My business is to communicate, to relate, and to be a part of the whole, while eye-balling the minutia.

In the truest sense of a bottom line, in the bottomness of bottom lines – my goal is to connect us – the collective us.

When we’re connected, we’re growing. All of us.

Overcoming tough decisions along the way is a given. Together we’re unstoppable.

Let’s Eat!

Essential Blogger: 10 Easy Steps To Grow Your Site

Thursday, May 11, 2017 By patti tucker Leave a Comment

I frequently get questions about blogging and site production, as in how to grow a site or blog.

Today we’ll cover 10 essential blogging steps, to grow your site presence.

Lots of bloggers blog with the thought that their site is a place to keep family and friends updated on their lives (I know quite a few of those guys!), but this post will be more specifically for those of you who are interested in growing your readership, your reach, for your website.

~This site uses affiliate links. When you do your shopping through the links on this page, you support the blog at no cost to yourself. It’s much appreciated!~

Before we start, I will assume that you have bought your own domain name (www.yourname.com) and that you are using a reputable hosting service, both are key to supporting a growing site.

There are lots of hosting companies out there and you should do your homework to see which one will serve your needs.

This site runs on SiteGround. They are lightening fast and you can get techie support 24/7. I love them.

Unabashed affiliate linkage:

Ready to grow? Let’s get started.

#1: Engaging and Consistent Content

If you don’t have anything to say…yeah, bloggers always have lots to say.

The key for me is this:

Is it useful to others?

Does it educate?

Does it entertain?

If I hit one of those, I’m golden. If not, I find a new topic.

When I started my Oh, Mrs. Tucker site, I posted five new posts per week. It was too much. Too much for the reader and too much for the writer. My sweet spot is three new posts per week. This means I’m on a schedule. My readers know that on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays there will be a new post ready to be read.

These posts per week don’t magically appear, but take thought and research and sometimes a little umbrelly drank to write. I am a producer who has weeks of banked posts. I move them around to suit you and to suit me.

The key is I have them ready, even through the holidays, the flu, or an unexpected Sweet E visit. The thought of disappointing my readers because I failed to produce is too much to contemplate, so as a subject presents itself, I get it down and bank that badboy.

#2: Linky Parties

Linky parties are otherwise known as blog hops or blog parties and uses a popular “linky” tool that allows you to link your blog to another, by way of a blog post that you want to share. You can find link parties everywhere in the blogosphere.

There are linky parties for food, crafts, kiddos, really almost anything and many are a free-for-all. You simply follow the rules the hostess lists and then link your post. By linking your post, you are basically putting more eyes on your site. More eyes = potential new friends via readers!

Once you have linked your post, then it’s time to check out the other posts that have been linked. You can pin from there, leave comments, stumble, tweet. Really you can do everything that helps you to become part of the community you’re looking to join.

I keep a list of parties I participate in on a daily list. Some open in the morning and some in the evening. Once you start linking regularly, you’ll get the feel for who starts when.

Joining linky parties when I started OMT was one of the best things I did to get my site in front of those who might want to follow along on a regular basis, as well as allowed me to discover sites that I wanted to follow. Win win, baby!

#3: Pinning Your Own Posts

Once I’ve finished with my linky parties of the day, I go to my site and pin my post directly to one of my boards and then to any group boards I belong to that apply. If my post is about cake, then I post to my cakes and cupcakes board and then to a group blogger board or two. I try to spread out my pinning throughout the day, so as not to spam my boards.

Pinterest is a HUGE traffic generator for OMT and it can be for you! (also, see Bonus! at bottom of list)

#4: Tweeting Your Posts

Once I’ve pinned my post and made a note of when to pin to the rest of the group boards, I then go into my twitter account to tweet my post (or use the plug-in “click to tweet” which I’ve used in this post below) with an original picture with a watermark.

Most of my pics have a set of two: one with a watermark one without, in case I ever need to edit the photo.

#5: Stumble Dem Babies

Next up, I stumble (StumbleUpon) my own posts to ensure that the category and tags are correct.

The prevailing thought that bloggers shouldn’t stumble their own posts is a fallacy. I have spoken directly with stumbleupon (SU) and they assured me that as long as stumblers stumble a larger percentage of posts other than their own (for every post I stumble that is mine, I stumble at least 15 others that aren’t mine), they have no issue with you stumbling yours first.

Through a process of experimentation, I found that my posts that I’ve stumbled myself get more exposure than those that have been initially stumbled by someone else.

I have written a stumbleupon tutorial here.

#6: Instagram

IG is exploding in growth with live and Instastories along with telling your story through images. Research and utilize the hashtags that work within your niche and you’re base of followers will grow.

You can keep your website URL in your profile, so whenever folks need more of you, your site is one click away. Keep your images compelling and think of IG as an extension of your website story.

#7: Facebook

By time I finish writing this post, facebook will have changed their algorithum again and this part will be obsolete, but I’ll tell you what I do as of this moment and see how things go.

I belong to several private facebook pages that consists of bloggers that support each other. Join groups within your niche.

If there is a daily thread to link my post within their page, then that is what I do. That way, other bloggers can decide to share it or not. This process has been hit and miss for me when it comes to page hits, but really successful when it has come to new readers and friends.

One group goes gangbusters, while others may not. That’s okay. The point to the private blogging groups isn’t solely for promoting your stuff, it’s for coming together with your own kind, the people that don’t look at you like you’re an alien when you tell them you’re a blogger or site producer.

It’s good to be with your peeps. Go. Join. Be an active and helpful member.

The second part of this is posting your posts to a facebook page that is specifically set-up for your site. Maybe a business page or a page to promote your website.

You’ll want to showcase your stuff there. Do live videos (I LOVE to see what others are doing through their live feeds!), update regularly and make sure the pics are the size Facebook likes. (see: Bonus! below)

Facebook is notorious for shifting how they allow others to see what you link and I’m simply trying to be crafty here.

Bottom Line: I always point to new posts on my facebook page and try to stay up-to-date on facebook’s latest shenanigans.

#8: Emails

When a reader sends me an email, I try to respond the day I received it because it’s one of the easiest ways to connect to a reader. They’ve taken the time to share with me their loves or concerns and I feel they deserve the same from me.

Plus, I love my readers. Of all the places they could spend their time on the Internet, they chose my site. Never fails to humble me.

#9: Posted Comments

If you’re a regular reader here or someone who has left a comment, you know that I will respond to those as well.

I like to think of us as friends having a conversation and I’m thrilled you want to start that convo, so I show up.

Readers also want to be part of a community. As stated in #8, they’ve picked your site to spend their time at, they picked your post to leave a comment on, and we all know how vast the Internet is and how many sites are competing with yours. If you want to grow something worthwhile, you can’t do it in a vacuum.

Get out there and mingle with your guests!

Party Hats for ever’one!

#10: Post Comments of Your Own on Other Sites

You know the saying if you want to have a friend, be a friend? Well, leaving thoughtful comments for others is a simple step in making friends.

I can’t count how many new friends I’ve made through a simple comment on their site. If I like something, I tell them. If it made me laugh or think, I tell them.

It’s easy and you can do it in your jammies while drinking your morning ~~vodka~~ coffee.

BONUS Step! Photography is key to growing your site. We all love gorgeous pics, but what if you aren’t Ansel Adams (renowned photographer)? Practice! Read! Take a photography class!

Once you taken your photos, you’ll need to edit them (DON’T FREAK OUT!!). There are programs like Picmonkey and Canva that make it a snap if you’re new to the edit game. You can also step up your editing skills with a Photoshop 101 class and fly from there!

One of the reasons Pinterest/Instagram/Facebook works for me is that my pics are optimized for each of their platforms. In PicMonkey and Canva, you will find a tool that resizes each pic for whatever platform you need. It’s like a helpful cheat-sheet!

There you have it: 10 easy ways to grow your site, plus a bonus! There are loads of other ways, but if you’re doing all of these, you’re on your way.

Happy Growing, my babies!

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